


Smithsonian of-

by noona96n



Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, captain america: the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, No Spoilers, POV Second Person, post winter soldier, pre winter soldier, this is my first attempt at this POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-19 20:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1483153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noona96n/pseuds/noona96n
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An ongoing collection of extremely loosely connected ficlet concerning Steve and Bucky.<br/>1: And you greedily breathe in the air that he breathes out.<br/>2: Captain America is the death of your life.<br/>3:The brilliant blue eyes that answer your confused tormented one. The red painted shield that protect him from your red star metal arm.<br/>4: Because how dare they corrupt your lovely little life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ray of Light and Ugly Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And you greedily breathe in the air that he breathes out.

Steven Rogers is like the sun in its highest glory. Soft and golden and bright. The ray of light and the beacon of hope.

And you.

You are the shadow. The ugly dark space that eats away the glorious light, leaving only fear and pain and heartbreak.

And you swallow his light greedily. Selfishly. Hungrily.

#

Here you are, standing at the end of Steven Rogers’ hospital bed. Staring at his blanketed feet and listening to the machine beating his heart. And once in a while, you are daring enough to look up and shamelessly look at Steven Rogers’ handsome face and touches the space near his feet.

You look up again, and this time you mostly see the shadows of the night obscuring his face from you. You move up and stand next to his arm. It’s ironic, you think, to see such brilliance and hope to be gobbled away by the ugly shadows.

So you lean in, bend down to take a closer look at that peaceful face. That well arched brows and soft eyelids. The pointy nose and plump red lips. Hiding under your shadows and away from the glory of the moonlight.

And you greedily breathe in the air that he breathes out. Suck it up hungrily like a starved beast and pouring out your breath into his lungs.

And when his eyelids twitch, you are out of the room even before he opens his diamond blue eyes.

#


	2. The Death of Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain America is the death of your life.

You know.

The man who shout your name and reach out for you hand is Steven Rogers. And the man who watch you fall is Captain America.

(They are one and the same but they’re not.)

#

Steve. Steve is your life.

Because when you fall, you see Steven Rogers. You see his glorious smile and soft gentle hands. You see his long thin limbs and white pale skin. You see sun kissed hair and water blue eyes. You see defined biceps and wide broad chest.

You feel no ounce of regret.

And Captain America. Captain America is big ol’ US of the A propaganda boy. Captain America is false smile and fake hope and bullshit peace.

Captain America is the death of your life.

#

And when they strap you to the cold metal desk and hack of your arm, you did not scream. You think of your life and see Brooklyn, New York. You see the golden sun illuminating a frail body wrapped in tattered scarf. You see skillful fingers sketching on stolen drawing pad and a hint of peaceful smile.

And you think, your life is beautiful.

#

“There’s no need for brainwashing. Just erasure and amplification.”

#

“You are humanity’s hope.” They say softly and smile at you beautifully and look at you with pride and accomplishment.

“You will right this society and give it the freedom it deserve.” They continue as four men put you onto a cold metal tank. The smile is still intact.

“And real peace will finally has a chance to prosper thank to your work.” They say with finality and reach out to pat your cheek.

#

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm making it into a series after watch CA:TWS for the third time. It's still awesome. 
> 
> Anyway, tell me what you think or just drop a word or two.


	3. Il est Bleu. Et il est rouge.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brilliant blue eyes that answer your confused tormented one. The red painted shield that protect him from your red star metal arm.

The Smithsonian is a big fuzzy blur of noisy blue and red mess and you go in anyway. You think how befitting because you are blue and red just like Steven Rogers. There are blues in your eyes and red on your metal arm. And there are blues in Steve’s eyes and red on his shield. The brilliant blue eyes that answer your confused tormented one. The red painted shield that protect him from your red star metal arm.

You stand in front of the mannequins of the Howling Commando and look at the painting of another man. You wonder if you once were that man. On the left of Captain America. Snipping HYDRA men and exploding HYDRA bases because he was foolish enough to follow Captain America into battle.

You read about him from glass screen and look at the line of his handsome young face. You listen to a mad genius praises his snipping skill and proclaimed him an elite sniper. You listen to a stunning woman speak highly of him and his loyalty. To his best friend. Steven Rogers. And you realized you might be this man who is crazy enough to charge into battle, prepared to die for a best friend who no longer need his protection. And you laugh because you really could be. But you’re not.

You stay to listen to the same woman talks fondly of Steven Rogers, like he’s the miracle of her life. And you find yourself agreeing readily because Steven Rogers is the miracle to every life he touches. 

Because he is the blue that represents affection and comforting touch. And he is the red that is warmth and pulsing blood.

And you. You are the blue that is the unforgiving winter and frozen blue lips. And the red that is freshly split blood and red rimmed eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been studying french for like six months now. Donc, je peux parler francais un peu. Yeah, that's basically the only thing I can say in french hahahaha.  
> Anyway, drop me a word or two darlings. *wink wink*


	4. The Color of Selfishness

“Steve?” you say. Testing the word on your tongue like it’s a new chemical they put into your mouth. You look up and see bright blue eyes under the dimming light and a crown of gold. Then you smile and breathe “Steve.”

He looks relief and happy as he help you to your feet and you finally remember that his name is your favorite word.

#

“Get out of here.” Steve shouts and you feel angry. Because really, how could he expect you to just abandon your entire goddamn life in a burning HYDRA facility.

How selfish you think.

You slam your hand onto the railing and shout “No, not without you.”

#

You walk behind him. Your step steady and long and yet you’re walking behind him. It’s strange you think, to have him in front of you. Then he turns around to look at you and both of your eyes meet and you feel something lift from your shoulders.

He smiles at you like he used to when you gifted him a sketchpad or a pencil or two and you quicken your pace to match his slowing ones. You and Steve walk side by side and you think, you belong side by side after all.

#

You stand behind him this time. In his shadow. Swarmed by people who only see Captain America. And Captain America is just a symbol. An ugly disgusting symbol that represent America and its greedy desire to win the war. And it will only dirty Steve. The brilliant light of your life.

And you feel lividness boiling inside of you. Because they only see Captain America. Not the brilliance that is Steve.

You look up and see white shining star on broad blue chest and feel an ugly black anger eats away your heart. You see the bold letter ‘A’ and feel your head explode with red hot rage.

Because how dare they corrupt your lovely little life, you think, and you shout loudly “Let’s hear it for Captain America.”

Yeah. Let’s hear it. Let’s hear everything.

Go on. Don’t be shy.

#

“What about you?” Steve asks as he looks at you. You just toy with your whiskey tumbler and he continues “Ready to follow Captain America into the jaw of death?”

And you laugh because seriously. Does he has to ask? Of course not. You would never. Captain America is a creation made from the government’s desire to win. And you’d never-

Then you turn and see Steve. Brilliant glorious Steve with his gorgeous blue eyes and radiant skin and halo of gold and you think you’d follow him anywhere. So you say “Hell, no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him.”

Because this is Steve. Steve is going to war now. Slapped into a fancy suit and equipped with fancy gadgets. And you just can’t let him go. You can’t. Because it’s Steve. You’re not letting him go alone.

#

The agent looks at Steve and Steve looks at the agent. And you feel something weird in your stomach. You talk to her in place of Steve and when she leaves you say “I'm invisible. I-I'm turning into you. This is a horrible dream!”

Steve laughs at this and you wonder if the agent has been smitten with Steve from the beginning or she’s only interested after the serum. You want to ask but don’t because _the look on Steve’s face_. It’s gorgeous and you just stare. And then you feel that funny feeling in your stomach again.

#

When Steve tells you that they’re going to capture Zola, you break into cold sweat.

Because- white light and blank slate and leather and metal table and syringes of chem. And you don’t get drunk anymore. And you don’t sleep as much as you used too. And you sure as hell aren’t eating as much as you should. And sometimes, you just freeze in the field. White fucking spots flashing in front of your eyes and there is nothing. Just raging noise dizzy visions.

And Steve freaks out every single time. Give you concerned look. Pour you another glass o’ drink, put food in front of you and tell you to sleep. And he carries you out of the fucking battlefield and sit by your bed side and looks like a ghost. But he never says anything. Not a single fucking word and you don’t know if you should feel relief or-

But you listen anyway. And you’re going anyway.

Because Steve’s going. You’re not letting him go alone.

#

Steve pushes you back and held the shield up to protect you both and you think how ironic to be covered by the ugly disgusting symbol. It won’t be enough, you think, it’ll just blast us away from the blast on save us. And it did blast you and Steve away. It did abandon its master, the shield of Captain America (sound familiar isn’t it?).

Before you can think, the HYDRA agent aims the gun again and you grab the shield. Flimsily with no sense of grace and fire at the agent. Because even though the vibranium shield is America in its ugliest ambition, you are protecting Steve. That is the only thing on your mind.

#

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep in mind that I have always view Captain America and Steven Rogers as two separate entity. And every time I see the Bucky's face after he says "Let's hear it for Captain America", I just fucking lost it. I have to head canons about this. 1) Bucky just realizes that Steve doesn't need his protection anymore. And 2) He hates America for turning Steve into a weapon humanized only by Steve and his grace and his humanity and his humility and his ideal.  
> Anyway, that's just what I think. Heehee. I choose to use the second head cannon because I'm feeling a little down since I just received a brand new homework to survey the freaking doors. *sigh*  
> Drop me a word or two my darlings.  
> Find me on tumblr: http://ria-ar-qui.tumblr.com/


End file.
